So, it's now September, and I am probably cheating everyone who reads this because I don't remember everything but I will give it my best shot. (Actually, it's June 2018 - almost 11 years after the events. I would imagine that the statute of limitations applies. However, I can confirm that this was written in Sept. 2007 - how do I miss finishing all these posts??????)
We decided to head down and into Mykonos Town. I'm not 100% postitive but I think we went an grabbed some lunch and then just walked around checking out the billion touristy shops. There was a ton of places. So after it became really hot, we decided to get some drinks. Of course, we did our usual grab a beer and a Smirnoff for Jess. We saw a road that looked like it headed down towards the water - so we followed it and found a small rocky beach where the locals were hanging out and swimming. The people looked a bit shady and the like 8 or 9 year old boy was running around and swimming naked but aside from that, it was a pretty cool spot to sit and relax and have a drink or two. We picked up a bunch more drinks to put into our fridge and began the death march up the hill. Holy shit - the heat, the walk, the hot ass pavement - we were soaked. We could not stop sweating. The plastic bag that the drinks were in was cutting the circulation to my fingers and they were killing me. We finally made it and got to the patio - I stripped off my shir
t and put it on the wall to dry in the sun. By the wall though, there was a surprise - this cute little cat.
We decided to hang out and relax a bit - the sun was going down soon and I of course, needed to take about 1000 pics which I did with no problem. Anyway - I think we just hung out and had some drinks, went to dinner and grabbed some groceries - including tuna for Catty - who got some good meals thanks to me - and might I add, the tuna was a little expensive. The place is surrounded by water - you'd think fish wouldn't be so pricey. There are some other pics like the one to the left - they remind me of Star Wars, the first one, which is really the fourth one. But it's interesting how the fourth one, which is really the first one starts the way the third one, which is really the sixth one (when you think about it) ends. I'm pretty sure that's how we ended the night - finishing up some drinks and feeding Catty.
We decided to sit out on the patio - me in a chair and Jess on the lounger with, you guessed it Catty McCat Cat. That's right, Jess "I hate animals" Hoffmann and the cat, all curled up together. Jess starts telling me about some bullshit story how earlier in the day, she was out there reading and the cat kept trying to crawl up on her and snuggle with her. I'm trying to tell her that animals are pretty smart, they have good instincts and I am sure that Catty knows that given the opportunity, you would shave her. Jess continues to try to lure me in to her nonsense story and then the amazing happens...Jess starts to pet Catty. Jess claims that she is really 
trying to keep the cat off her but really, look at that face. Does that look like the face of someone who doesn't want the cat on her? Jess and Catty couldn't be any happier. They're on Mykonos, the sun is going down and they're... what's this? They're snuggling!
Of course, the unthinkable happens on the boat. We walk on over to the port - it wasn't a bad walk and we're there early, waiting with a bunch of people. So, we're Mackin' - we're in business class because there weren't any regular seats left. One of the men who show you where you sit is like - "No you can't take your packs with you." This after the first guy tells us otherwise. We tell him that the other guy said we're supposed to take them and he still says no. So, we do what good Europeans would do: We ignore him. We walk to our seat and place them in the overhead compartment.
We're sitting and getting relaxed - I'm picking some class of fruit or nut, non-dairy non-gluten stuff out of Jess' pack (in other words, I'm getting some grass) and I hear Jess go, "No way!" and of course, there's some 12 year old and her sister and her mom and dad and they're from Jess' school distrtict and she taught the girl.
Mind you, we're on a boat from Crete to Mykonos - not even in like the airport in Athens or something. So, we're all chatting and the girls' mother is like, "Wow - is nothing sacred?" and we're all chatting and I'm thinking, I know there's NO WAY we're going to see any of MY kids.
So we get to Mykonos and there are tons of people there with signs when you get off the ferry. Not only are they picking people up but they are there trying to drum up business for their hotels and campgrounds. It was pretty crazy and we missed our woman but asked and someone was able to point her out to us. We jump in her crappy van with her daughter and head up to our place.
We're driving along and chatting and we take a left and head up a hill. It's a large hill. It's the hill we read about on someone's review of the place on TripAdvisor. The hill is even larger than the guy said it was and it's getting steeper by the minute. The woman slows down and then pulls up like she's going to be making a three point turn.
We're in reverse and she steps on the gas and we're headed abckwards. The streets aren't very wide - ok, they're like barely a one car road and she's cruising at like 15 mph - like a champ. She gets to her driveway and bangs a left in reverse and heads down and it's freaking crazy steep. Bam - we're in the parking spot.
It was the most amazing thing of the whole trip.
We hop out and into our room and it's the usual - beds, TV (in English) and AC. We take off our packs and immediately wash our clothes. We have none. We're both at the end of our wardrobe - so we wash like mad and drape our clothes on the wall of our patio. The sun was blazing and they actually dried really fast. It was pretty sweet and not a bad view to dry over if you're a piece of clothing. Or a person I guess. We overlooked the old port.
We hop out and into our room and it's the usual - beds, TV (in English) and AC. We take off our packs and immediately wash our clothes. We have none. We're both at the end of our wardrobe - so we wash like mad and drape our clothes on the wall of our patio. The sun was blazing and they actually dried really fast. It was pretty sweet and not a bad view to dry over if you're a piece of clothing. Or a person I guess. We overlooked the old port.
We decided to head down and into Mykonos Town. I'm not 100% postitive but I think we went an grabbed some lunch and then just walked around checking out the billion touristy shops. There was a ton of places. So after it became really hot, we decided to get some drinks. Of course, we did our usual grab a beer and a Smirnoff for Jess. We saw a road that looked like it headed down towards the water - so we followed it and found a small rocky beach where the locals were hanging out and swimming. The people looked a bit shady and the like 8 or 9 year old boy was running around and swimming naked but aside from that, it was a pretty cool spot to sit and relax and have a drink or two. We picked up a bunch more drinks to put into our fridge and began the death march up the hill. Holy shit - the heat, the walk, the hot ass pavement - we were soaked. We could not stop sweating. The plastic bag that the drinks were in was cutting the circulation to my fingers and they were killing me. We finally made it and got to the patio - I stripped off my shir
t and put it on the wall to dry in the sun. By the wall though, there was a surprise - this cute little cat.
Like most people, Jess made fun of my name before it hit her just how fucking cool it is. She and her sister, Ali (remember the name), started this whole, Neilly McNeil Neil thing - and they're not the only ones of course (and now she has a son with the name, so I win). When Jess likes to bust my balls, she'll whip out a, "Ok, Crany McCrank Crank" to which the usual response from me is "take it easy Blankey McBlank Blank (you can fill in the blanks - and it's all in good fun) and we joke around. So of course, what did I name the cat? That's right, Catty McCat Cat. The cat was really sweet and hung around on the porch with us the whole time we were there. As a matter of fact, Catty McCat Cat even made an impression on Jess the Animal Hater.
We decided to hang out and relax a bit - the sun was going down soon and I of course, needed to take about 1000 pics which I did with no problem. Anyway - I think we just hung out and had some drinks, went to dinner and grabbed some groceries - including tuna for Catty - who got some good meals thanks to me - and might I add, the tuna was a little expensive. The place is surrounded by water - you'd think fish wouldn't be so pricey. There are some other pics like the one to the left - they remind me of Star Wars, the first one, which is really the fourth one. But it's interesting how the fourth one, which is really the first one starts the way the third one, which is really the sixth one (when you think about it) ends. I'm pretty sure that's how we ended the night - finishing up some drinks and feeding Catty.
The next day we headed to the beach. There's a ton to pick from and since neither of us felt like partying like rock stars or with all the gay dudes, we went to one of the calmer ones. Of course, people always talk about topless beaches. OOOOoooo - there's gonna be boobies. Sure there's boobies but it's always the boobies that you don't want to see. One woman was so heinous she looked like something out of Greek mythology. Worse, now that we're home and we watched the rest of the season of Big Love that we missed, this woman looked like Selma Green. If you've seen her, er it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Worse, is that she, er it, kept standing up and facing the entire beach, puffing on a cigarette and her nasty football shaped tits were pointing all over the place. Awesome I saw boobs in Greece. Unfortunately, I am now blind.
So, we get chairs because there is no room on the beach for a towel let alone Selma's football shaped tits. The deal is, you have to have lunch at the restaurant that you're sitting in front of. Personally, I think it is a scam but no big deal we have to eat anyway. I figure the nasuea from seeing her tits will eventually subside and I will want to get some gyro for the 8ooth time. We did a lot of people watching - especially the Asians who were not giving the peace sign but were giving massages. They're always doing something with their hands. This one young chick got worked over for like an hour. I couldn't believe it. We eventually start talking to the people next to us who are from....Jersey. Then of course, these really disgusting people sat next to us. The fat women kept making the African guys selling fake pocketbooks take off every one of the 3,000 they carried on them just to get the one nearest their armpits. I'm guessing she smelled like shit too because those guys stink, it's super hot and deodorant apparently is a luxury in Europe. Worse, is after they got her the smelly armpitted bag, she didn't buy it. She did this to all five that were working the beach. So this same woman gets one of the Asians to give her a foot massage.
That poor bastard.
He was working those big, swollen, nasty feet for a good half hour. He was sweating like a mad man. I would have wiped all my sweat off and on to her feet and pretended like it was baby oil or something. She deserved it. Then this nasty fat guy sits down with his wife and mother-in-law and kid, or some such configuration because we coudln't figure out who was who - because the young chick was way too young for him, yet she was laying with him all weird on the chair so we were totally confused. Of course, the fat sweaty bastard takes his shirt off and is sitting there in his Speedo type suit. Then the fucker gets a massage! Me and the guy from Jersey start cracking jokes about how rough of a job that Asian guy has then about how the Speedo has it worse. He was greasing the guy up - rolling his fat rolls all over the place. When he was done the fat fucker called him back and made him massage his feet as part of the deal. I couldn't believe it.
We had lunch and Jess went ga-ga over some grileld eggplant dish, so she called the owner over and got the recipe for Niko's Grilled Eggplant. Around three or 3:30 we head back to the spot to get the bus back to Mykonos Town. When we got back to our room, the real fun began.
We decided to sit out on the patio - me in a chair and Jess on the lounger with, you guessed it Catty McCat Cat. That's right, Jess "I hate animals" Hoffmann and the cat, all curled up together. Jess starts telling me about some bullshit story how earlier in the day, she was out there reading and the cat kept trying to crawl up on her and snuggle with her. I'm trying to tell her that animals are pretty smart, they have good instincts and I am sure that Catty knows that given the opportunity, you would shave her. Jess continues to try to lure me in to her nonsense story and then the amazing happens...Jess starts to pet Catty. Jess claims that she is really 
trying to keep the cat off her but really, look at that face. Does that look like the face of someone who doesn't want the cat on her? Jess and Catty couldn't be any happier. They're on Mykonos, the sun is going down and they're... what's this? They're snuggling!
Yes, snuggling! I couldn't believe it. I had never seen this side of Jess before. Despite all the horrible things she says, she really does love animals, and I know, that there is hope that she will eventually love the dog that I plan to get in the future. Have you ever seen anyone this happy to snuggle with an animal?
Loathing, fear and disgust? Never would I use those words to describe the utter joy Jess feels when she is close with animals. Look at those tears of joy. They could have been tears of sorrow because we were leaving the next day and she could no longer snuggle with Catty but she knew, deep in her heart that Catty could not live on a different Island - she belonged to Mykonos and would remain there as would Jess' love for her feline friend.
